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How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me? June 14, 2010

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With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of…outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.

Here are some things to consider:

(1)    Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?
(2)    Features. Which features are the most important to you?
(A)    Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
(B)    Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
(C)    Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
(D)    Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
(E)    Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?

These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.

Blind Date vs Internet Date June 9, 2010

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Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend.  You, foolishly, accept.  Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced.  You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food.  The entrée has not yet been served.  His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation.  Been there?

Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced.  You already know this man.  You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests.  He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.

There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there?  Now which one would you rather have?

Mr. Perfect Does Not Exist! June 3, 2010

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The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. Prince Charming, riding on a white stallion, lost his way or found Princess Charming and got married on his way to your castle. Get over it and get on with it. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won’t find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isn’t among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is “what”.

It’s true that online dating, while in its infancy, was only made up of perverts, sexual predators, nerds and weirdoes but that is no longer true. It has become the main tool of the single person in every developed country in the world. Forty million people can’t all be wrong. Ask your girl friends if they have ever used online dating or are using it now. If they are honest with you, most of them have or are now members of at least one online dating site and maybe more than one. It really is the way to go to meet eligible men who want to meet you. It doesn’t matter what any of your numbers are…like age, height, weight or income either. Somewhere out there in the big wide world there is a man who will like you…..then love you….and think that you are beautiful and desirable. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is true. What is considered beautiful in one part of the world is completely different from what is considered beautiful in another part of the world. It’s even different from one part of this country to another.

Find an online dating site that fits your needs. Write a great profile and post a flattering picture. Start contacting eligible men on the site. Mr. Close-enough-to-perfect could be a few mouse clicks away.

Online Flirting – A New Art Form June 2, 2010

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Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for “brick and mortar” flirting and all relationships begin with successful flirting.  Flirting is an art that requires oozing confidence without being OTT.  If you go too far, she will label you “slimy” If you don’t go far enough, she will label you “wimpy”.  So how do you achieve that point half way between slimy and wimpy and do it online without using eye contact or body language?  All you have is a computer an internet connection and membership in an online dating site, right?

1.    Have fun!  Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining.  Make her eager to talk to you again.  Flirting is playful.

2.    Ooze confidence.  Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life.  You need to transmit the “feel good” factor.  An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey attracts flies.

3.    3.  Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely.  Nothing opens doors like making her feel good about herself.  She will want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”.  Do Not be self depreciating.

4.    Listen…listen….listen.  Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions.  Get her to open up and talk about herself.  Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her.  Works wonders!

5.    Don’t be rude.  Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you. If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on to the next prospect.  If you get a lot of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach.

6.    Send an email after you chat.  This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a gift and it is vital to successful flirting.

Don’t try to go too fast.  Flirting is the first step to a successful relationship.

A Man’s Secrets to Successful Online Dating June 1, 2010

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People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work.  Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online.  All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme.  That’s not only wise but vital.  So what’s a nice guy to do?  You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo.  You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.

You must be patient.  Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives.  Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online.  Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face.  She will think you are desperate or a pervert.  Patience.  Patience. Patience.

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job.  A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit.  Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.

A picture really is worth a thousand words.  Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots.  If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours  and that she bring a friend with her.  After all, you have nothing to hide.  You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you.  The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

3 Online Dating Mistakes to Avoid June 1, 2010

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While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right.  Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart.   Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success.  However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary.  Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace.  Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect.  We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well.  If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed.  Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing.  Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine.  It won’t happen.  Expect flaws and just deal with them.  Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work.  Be honest from the beginning of a relationship.  Write your profile.  Make it interesting but don’t make false statements.  The truth will come out eventually anyway.  If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

Top 50 Pick Up Lines May 31, 2010

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1. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

2. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

3. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!

4. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

5. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

6. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

7. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

8. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!

9. I’ve seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

10. Is your name Gillette? …because you’re the best a man can get.

11. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we met before?

12. Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me!

13. Is there a Rainbow, because you’re the treasure I’ve been searching for.

14. Check their label on their shirt and when she says, “What are you doing?” You say, “Checking to see if you were made in heaven.”

15. If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together

16. “Can I borrow a quarter?” When she asks “why?”, say, “I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.”

17. Damn, I thought “very-fine” only came in a bottle!

18. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

19. Do you have the time? No, the time to write down my number?

20. Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual friend who could introduce us.

21. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!

22. I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.

23. You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.

24. You see my friend over there? He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.

25. You must be from Pearl Harbor, ’cause baby, you’re the bomb.

26. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

27. You are the only reason why I came in here alone.

28. What’s a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?

29. Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?

30. Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on earth!

31. I was looking at a light bulb today and it made me think of you and how you light up my world.

32. You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right.

33. Is your name David? I want to be Goliath and fall for you.

34. You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel.

35. Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag…because I asked for you for Christmas.

36. My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?

37. You be the biscuits and I’ll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.

38. Hi, I’m astronomer and I’ve been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8… 6… 9’er… Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!

39. Hey baby. You got a jersey cause I need your name and number?

40. I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won’t stop loving you until you find that tear drop.

41. I’m a Love Pirate, and I’m here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

42. When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

43. Speak of the devil….or should I say “Angel”?

44. Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?

45. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

46. Do you have a BandAid? I just scrapped my knee falling for you.

47. Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

48. Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?

49. Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?

50. If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you’ve made me smile, I’d hold the sky in the palm of my hand.

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